i hate...

I hate new relationships. But no, i really do love them, but i just get so annoyed. if someone likes me, i want them to show it. i want to be pursued. I WANT TO BE PURSUED!!! for god's sake, you live just down the road. not far at all. i'm RIGHT HERE. it can't be that hard, really, to arrange something. so i'm thinking i really like someone. and we've only hung out twice right?? twice. not many times at all. and then the dreaded thing happens. COLD SORE. eww. on the second 'date'. not a good thing. it was like an instant lip fungus. no tingle, nothing. BAM. there it was. so no kissing to be done. FUCK FUCK FUCK. i hope i haven't put him off with my lip fungus and lack of kissing. i am just sooo annoyed right now. what if he doesn't really like me at all?? what if he's gone all cold on me? i have time in my life for someone. where the fuck are you??? i was really happy the other day. i felt kinda special. you know, random text messages in the middle of the day. awwww someone's thinking about me! how nice! but now....nothing. this fucking sucks.

and we lost netball last night :(

ahhh sorry, just venting. xx

Midori, please (shaken...for 2 hours)

Feeling a bit flat right now after drinking most of a bottle of Midori last night but just the thought of those glasses of champagne over my eyes (sparkly pink glasses in the shape of 2 champagne glasses) makes me happy. And the fact I just ate one of Lisa's amazing omlettes (Lisa, being me), I'm sure I'll perk up before 11:30, when I leave for work. In the meantime, I shall blog and watch Video Hits which has become custom since Year 8 at boarding school. I don't watch Video Hits every week any more, but when I do, it's almost a treat. :) Really.

This time last week, I was headed for date number one with Jonniem. Date number one involved coffee and some food at a local cafe, very handy for me. Look, I'm not really in the mood to even reflect on how it meant. There's been a bit of reflecting this week already. Let's just say it went fine, we chatted for a couple of hours, ate, drank, laughed, shook (not me, just him...for the whole 2 hours) paid (he paid! "you can pay the next one") and went our separate ways...with a kiss on the cheek. I felt he was going to the lips, went for the side-swipe. Man, I'm crafty. He emailed me in the week saying how nice a time he had and we should do it again. What to say?? How to reject...nicely?? So I won't go into that. but let's just say I haven't heard back. Was I expecting to hear back from a rejection? I guess not, I don't know. I've never done that before by email. Normally you reject face to face or on the phone and there's some kind of reaction. By email, there's nothing. Blank. Delete.

So date number 2 was supposed to be with another dude. We were going to meet in Richmond, have a drink...and if we liked each other we could go back to his place. For sex. Isn't that nice? He called on the Saturday to reschedule. I told him he was a cunt (not using that word) for putting it like that and he laughed, said he was joking and can't wait to catch up. OK. Since then, we've just been emailing. He's been busy, as have I. Maybe this week some time.

You know what? I'm so over the whole internet dating. Whose brilliant idea was this anyway???

Also, I dreamt this morning that the cat had scratched me and my arm tore open. I was lying in bed this morning holding my arm together, thinking it was going to split into two. There wasn't any blood. I am bloodless.

On another note, I advertised Lexy's room on realestate.com.au for the perfect replacement and found 20 people coming through here in 5 days. Lex (and I, I suppose!) decided on Charlie. Charlie is a 25-year-old personal trainer for Fitness First. Go, Charlie! He likes cats and the sun. As expected, he's very fit. Also, he was the only one that brought not one, but two written references. He was crazy vibrant and outgoing and friendly. I think we'll get on well. I have thought twice about why he would want to live with me. Does he think I'm his latest project. *slap face* Don't think like that. He wants to live with you because you're a great chick and have an awesome place.
He brought his mum and brother round yesterday to show them the place (isn't that the sweetest? His mother?! ) Anyhow, I have decided Charlie is going to change my life. Check out the new and improved Lisa, coming to a corner near you.

back by popular demand!

Well, not so much by popular demand, but since revealing the fact I have a blog to certain people (Leela!), I've been asked to blog again. FANCY THAT! being asked why I haven't written?? Isn't that nice!

So it's since turned 2009. I've official called 2009 the Year of the Internet Date. It goes like this:

• January, chatting on dating site
• February, getting phone numbers and ringing them
• March, dating
• April, sex???? oh come on, that's, like, forever away

Scratch that. I'm reorganising as follows:

• January, chatting on dating site and getting phone numbers
• Mid January, meeting, dating, having sex

Ahh, that's much better. chuckle chuckle.

That's as far as I've gotten. I don't plan on sticking to this time table, but it's just an estimate! You don't want to rush into these things, you know.

So far I have one phone number from bluejapan. he seems nice an even put up a almost nudie pick for my perusal (sp). isn't that nice?

I'm also speaking to some guy called jonniem who says he's not a dumbarse, but is a smartarse. "Is that ok?"

Also another guy called GodlessCommie. I really have to fuck him off.

And then there's socialphobic. I think he lives in Bayswater (really...) and is mad about movies...of which I am not so mad about. He has had one girlfriend for 3 weeks and had sex 9 months ago. Really! the things you learn on dating sites. Now, with a name like socialphobic...I'll say no more.

Aside from OkCupid!, i'm also online checking out housemates. If you know of anyone, send them my way. I've decided men are the no-go. i may be substituting them for a sexless boyfriend.
Lex is moving out on the 6/7 Feb (his bday weekend) and i'm aiming to get someone in straight away. It's down to Vidya (an Indian whom I don't want to live with and, no, i'm not being racist) .... and that's it so far.

And aside from loooking for a new house buddy, 2009 has definitely picked up happy-ness wise since the last week of 2008! god, those were miserable days. shit shit shit! looks like 2009 contains the same amount of cocktails, if not more, than last year! hopefully the Year of the Internet Date also includes more tennis playing (come on, Adam!), more gym (yes, Leela) and no more babies (so i can drink with my pregnant baby-making friends)! btw, a big shout-out to Jade, Joel and new baby girl Zadie! And Sarah and baby still in tummy but all the way in Perth. Also more sex, no need to travel to Perth just for a sure thing! Also a return to netball (thanks Mel for getting me back into a team, only if it has been 2 games - we won by 20 goals last week and i'd like to think it was thanks to my brilliant play, and another one tomorrow night - that will be the tester, apparently they're quite good).

On a final note, come on bluejapan, let's get it on. Bluejapan and me coming to a restaurant near you. Oh, dear........

Yellow cardigans and other happy things

I've heard that colour affects your mood. So, I decided to take this onboard. I wore a yellow cardigan to work this morning. Yellow, being a happy colour. Didn't seem to work. So I came home and ate pocky and watched Dirty Sexy Money. I did feel a little better after that.
Thought I'd do something fun for Boxing Day or even the weekend. I haven't got any plans besides resting my fragile self. Party, anyone?

I'm speaking in short sentences today.

Christmas spirit

Don't let the new design deceive you. This time of year, particularly this year, is a real bitch for me. I love Christmas, don't get me wrong. I love deciding what to get for people, going shopping, buying wrapping paper and ribbon and sticky tape. I love writing the cards and wrapping the presents and bursting at the seams to tell people what I got them! This year, I was more organised than most other years. I posted my cards by the 10th of December, also posted stuff to WA so it would have 10 days to make its way to Albany. I bought my housemate some practical things and even our latest visitor a little something.
The thing I hate is people taking their families for granted. Wait...it just occurred to me that about this time last year I may have been posting practically the same thing. But wait, there's more. I won't go on with last year's tangent. Instead, I'll say how sad I am today. People are so up and down with me. I mean, one minute they're super nice. Then they're ignoring me. I can't really take this love/hate shit for much longer. In fact, I'd had just about enough today. I had a big cry in the shower, snot dripping down my chin like a little kid, sobbing in the shower so no-one else could hear me. Did I want them to hear me? Maybe. Did I want them to find me with my wrists slashed in all my nakedness? Not so much. I didn't go that far, not to worry. I'm just being silly. So I'm either invited to something or I'm not. If you don't want me to go, don't invite me in the first place. If you're only inviting me because there's other people present expecting me to be invited, just 'fess up and say that I'm not invited. If you really don't want me to tag along, pull me aside and say "Hey, I'd rather you not come along". I promise I won't wash a bottle of Panadol down with an even bigger bottle of Vodka. I'd rather to be just told the truth. Which brings us back to families. I wish this year that I was with mine. It's been a while since I've had a WA Christmas. It's been pretty much forever since I've not worked on Christmas Day. So when I get all excited about the fact that I won't spend Christmas day at work amongst my peers eating delicious pork and other such tasty morsels because I've been "invited" to a family do, I don't want to feel unwanted. And I do. I'm pretty sure these feelings are purely Christmas-related. Also a feeling of unwantedness is destroying me because perhaps the person I really, really liked didn't know it and got himself another girlfriend. It's not that I don't like her. I just find myself having to be nice to her. Because that's what I am - a nice person. Unwanted, yes. Unloved, slightly. Except I know there's love coming from the other side of the country, for sure. Gotta love family. But it's those that are immediately close to me, not in family, but in proximity, that I wish would show me more love.
Cancel Christmas? Yes, please.